Fortune Telling All-Seeing Trump Zoltar Stalks NYC Street Corners to Glee of New Yorkers & Internet

A misfortune telling "All Seeing" Trump Zoltar fortune telling machine is moving around the streets of NYC dishing out hilarious Trumpisms and predictions.

all-seeing-trump-trump-zoltar-fortune-telling-machine-misfortunes-columbus-circle-trump-international-nyc_3Misfortune telling machine Trump Zoltar appeared on the streets of NYC yesterday and today

[Update: We have new photos from today’s appearance of the All-Seeing Trump at Trump International Hotel at Columbus Circle. Here’s a Facebook live video we took, also embedded below.]

The internet pretty much exploded yesterday after Gothamist reported that an all-seeing Trump Zoltar machine, akin to Grandma’s Predictions out on Coney Island but much more vulgar, was spotted on street corners around New York City from a mosque in Queens, and a Mexican restaurant in Greenpoint, to the sidewalks in front of the Trump Tower in Midtown, the New York Times building and NewsCorp.

Then yesterday afternoon, Untapped Cities received a curious message from a non-press partner of ours: “A friend of mine from work did this yesterday,” with a link to the news coverage on the Trump Zoltar. Speaking to one of the artists through this proxy, they informed us that the Zoltar would be moving around indefinitely. As of 5:36 pm yesterday, they told us “Planned Parenthood just happened not sure what’s next.” They noted that last night would be dedicated to editing a video (now below) and that they planned to become “more friendly with press tomorrow.”

The Zoltar machine is emblazoned with the title “All-Seeing Trump,” and the tagline “SEES EVERYTHING! KNOWS NOTHING!” The undefined-yellow haired Trump Zoltar says such Trump platitudes like, “I’m going to be the most popular President, EVER. And everybody loves me.” He predicts what the “dishonest lying media” will say about him in the future, of course, since it’s a fortune telling machine. He brags that he builds the “best deportation trains” which run on “green energy, salsa verde.” He’ll use a “huge investment into modern high speed rail – very advanced, very fast…to deport 11 million illegal Mexicans.” He will replace Obamacare with “I don’t care.” There are more than 30 messages total, voiced by comedian Anthony Atamanuik, who has been portraying Trump in comedy skits with the Upright Citizens Brigade.



Like Grandma’s Predictions, and other fortune telling machines, the All-Seeing Trump also distributes fortunes, but in this case, “misfortunes.” There are numerous Trump related messages on the cards, like, “THE FUTURE IS NOT TO BE FEARED UNLESS YOU ARE BLACK, MUSLIM, OR MEXICAN” with the hashtag #TRUMPSPEAKS. An initial website, The All Seeing Trump is currently a simple splash page with a contact address and Twitter hashtag. The Twitter account, All Seeing Trump, has the tagline, “Consider your pussy grabbed.”

The machine itself was built over the course of six weeks by Characters Unlimited, a company based in Boulder City, Nevada, that makes not only the famous Zoltar machines and other fortune telling machines, but also a host of mechanical animals, characters, even trees. Trump’s hands, which do indeed look anatomically quite small (Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter would be pleased), move back and forth across faux Poloroids (of him with Ivanka, Chris Christie, and a kitten), rather than tarot cards. One of his pockets contains a card with top secret launch codes.









Next, check out the statue of the naked Donald Trump that was also on the streets of NYC

 Donald Trump, Trump Tower

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *