25. Item 11: Mouse Wash

“Item 11: Listerine Mouse Wash.”

Ashley Northern of team Robotic Beeccaneers managed to include her adorable hairless rat Pyp in every GISH since 2017. She never wanted a hairless animal at all due to their generally low life expectancy—until Pyp fell into her lap. Ashley’s friend and former pet store coworker thought he was placing Pyp into an empty tank, but an aggressive hamster hiding in the cage attacked the friendly rat, causing her to lose an eye.

Ashley’s friend was in hysterics, as the pet store doesn’t tolerate “deformities.” He was convinced that Pyp, who could live just fine without an eye, would be sold as reptile food. He kept repeating, “You have to help me! I’ve killed her! I’ve killed her!”. Knowing that Ashley couldn’t refuse an injured animal, he took her to the only person he knew would help. Ashley nursed Pyp back to health and the pair have been inseparable ever since.

She said, “Pyp has lived in my shirt every second that I am home since that day. As to those fabled health issues that all hairless animals get, she’s been one of the healthiest and longest-lived rat I’ve ever owned.” Rats are expected to live between one-and-a-half to two-and-a-half years, but Pyp turned three in May. She’s still going strong despite her senior citizen status.

Ashley went on to say: “GISH has meant so much to our relationship because it has given me priceless memories that I will cherish long after she’s gone. She’s been a chupacabra and an astronaut, she’s sampled a new line of Listerine Mouse Wash, and she’s proven to be an exceptional painter.”

She concluded with: “Last year, I made the mistake of saying 2018 would be her last year GISHing, as I had assumed she would have passed before 2019. This year, I’m going to make it my mission to give her the greatest senior care any rat has ever seen with the goal of getting her to GISH 2020!”

We’re not crying. We just have Lysterine Mouse Wash in our eyes.