Spotlight on Austin: Facial Hair Pride

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If you are male and moving to Austin, remember to pack a mustache comb, some wax, and a lot of confidence. Bike knowledge, level of taco addiction, and density of sleeve tattoos all factor into overall coolness, but none more so than facial hair pride. If you can’t seem to cultivate luscious locks and easily sculpt them into dueling cyclones, go weird. Have conviction about that nearly invisible blonde grit stash because here, nothing determines social acceptability more than the sparkle in your eye that affirms, “I was born to have facial hair and share it with the world.”

Once you’ve embraced your itchy push broom, it is only a matter of time before the stash gets a name and possibly a spot on that sleeve you couldn’t quite afford to finish. The years spent grooming and growing only add to your popularity as you surpass a Mr. Pringles level of thickness and ascend Austin’s invisible ladder. Due to the hoards arriving daily, the longer someone’s been in Austin, the cooler people think they are. Living on top feels magical, but unfortunately this young transient city won’t admire you forever. So go out somewhere classy for a tenth Beardaversary, prepared to bid that decade long love affair farewell. Either that or watch it slowly evolve into a hairy security blanket that won’t fetch any free PBRs that aren’t already empty.

To discover work of this artist’s work, visit Jackie Evangelisti Art. And, for more on Austin, check out Untapped Cities’ Austin Spotlight.

2 Comment

  • While Austin does host and support some fabulous facial hair, I believe you have your information mixed up. Most beards can “freestyle” the bat/capital moustache in less than 2 years, instead of 10. Also, we have great respect and consideration for our fellow Austinites who choose to wear their beards over the 10 year mark. I appreciate the attention that you are giving to the city of Austin and it’s hirsute habits, but the majority of facial hair enthusiasts here support all facial hair and are not trying to “one-up” each other in these regards.

  • And if you don’t have convenient source for that mustache wax, visit:
    https://www.etsy.com/listing/111828838/prof-steampunks-wonderfully-whirlie